Most software developers will agree that their job can be stressful and frustrating at times. But did you know that humour and laughter is a scientifically proven method to help with managing stress factors in the workplace? Not only can it help to defuse difficult and tense situations, but it can offer several health benefits to the individuals sharing a laugh together.

As January is often considered to be the gloomiest month of the year, we’d like to contribute to beating the winter blues in offices nationwide by sharing ten of the best one-liners specifically design to make software developers smile.

Enjoy and share!

  1. I went to a street where the houses were numbered 8k, 16k, 32k, 64k, 128k, 256k and 512k.
    It was a trip down Memory Lane.
  2. If doctors were like software engineers, they would say things like “Have you tried killing yourself and being reborn?”
  3. //be nice to the CPU
  4. A programmer’s wife asks: “Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
    The programmer returns home with 12 loaves of bread.
    “They had eggs.”
  5. “Debugging” is like being the detective in a crime drama where you are also the murderer.
  6. !false
    (It’s funny because it’s true.)
  7. Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween?
    Because Dec 25 is Oct 31.
  8. The best thing about a Boolean is that even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
  9. An optimist says “The glass is half full.”
    A pessimist says “The glass is half empty.”
    A programmer says “The glass is twice as large as necessary.”
  10. A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself, “I know, I’ll solve it with threads!”
    has Now problems. two he
  11. “Knock, knock.”
    “Who’s there?”
    [very long pause] “Java.”
  1. An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks: “Can I join you?”
  2. [“hip”,”hip”] (hip hip array!)
  1. Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
  2. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.
  3. If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?
  4. Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
    Because they don’t C#.
  1. What sits on your shoulder and says “Pieces of 7! Pieces of 7!”?
    A Parroty Error.
  2. When Apple employees die, does their life HTML5 in front of their eyes?
  3. What did the router say to the doctor?
    “It hurts when IP”